Current Status: Sad Zombie

This is it. I leave in about 5.5 hours. I've been trying to sleep, but my excited/anxious/sad/happy/crazy mind isn't allowing me. 

I had interview #5 yesterday. It was scheduled as a Skype interview, but ended up being over the phone because the CEO couldn't get back to the office in time. It went well. Definitely different than any other interview I've been a part of, but in a good way. We had a follow up Skype this morning, just to put a face to the voice. It was a five minute thing that literally was just for him to see what I looked like. It is LA. 

The good news is I'm one of two final candidates. He will be making his final decision this weekend and will let me know the result on Monday. The best part of the whole thing, besides potentially getting the job, was what he said if I didn't get the job. If he ends up choosing the other guy/gal, he offered to put me in contact with some companies he was familiar with in the area and help me find another option. I couldn't believe how gracious he was being. I'm certain I've never heard that in any interview, but it just goes along with people in LA really just wanting to help you out. Crazy, but awesome.

So, if that ends up being my job, I'm going to be pretty excited. If it doesn't, at least I have other options and another avenue to go through for help. I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that I might actually be making this work. This time last year, you could have never convinced me I would be moving to LA. Now, I'm actually making that happen...and it's scary great. 

I've come to the realization that I have two choices for my path in life: A) stay in St. Louis, probably be unhappy for a long time and constantly wonder "what if" OR B) move to LA, be unhappy about leaving friends and family and make a new life for myself. Both options are not easy. Yesterday, I got really upset, and I kept thinking "Why am I doing something that is making me so unhappy?" But I keep reassuring myself that no matter how far away, I will still be able to talk and listen and laugh with my friends and keep up with my family. I know without a doubt, that if I don't do this now, I will forever kick myself for not at least trying. 

One of my mantras: you never know until you try. I constantly say that to myself. I am the one person who would never think to try this, and here I am. Here goes nothing...